Windows source code

21 Oct 2009
Posted by admin

Windows source code

#include

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

void read_partition_table(void)
{
write_new_partition_table();
write_W98_boot_loader(EXTREME_PREJUDICE);
}

void set_time(void)
{
read_BIOS_clock();

if (test_cpu_temperature() > 80)
set_BIOS_clock_to_summertime();
else
set_BIOS_clock_to_GMT(); /* Gates Microsoft Time */

/* Since windows assumes the BIOS clock isn't universal
time ...
*/
windows_clock = ((bios_clock + rand(24)) % 24) * PI;

if (user_complains())
{
remind_user_that_bugs_arent_going_to_be_fixed();
popup_and_recommend_user_buys_windows_y2k_defiant();
}
}

void check_mail(void)
{
int i;

for (i = 0; i < num_mail_messages_unread; i++)
if (strstr(UnreadMail[i].Subject, "GOOD TIMES") ||
strstr(UnreadMail[i].Subject, "JOIN THE CREW"))
start_microsoft_frontpage_97(REMOVE_WEB_SITE, "C:\")
}

void if_modem(void)
{
if (default_browser() != IE40)
{
dump_netscape();
set_invalid_host("www.netscape.com", ALWAYS);
download_latest_patch(IE40);
install_ie40();
associate_file_type(".BMP", IE40);
associate_file_type(".JPG", IE40);
....
....
associate_file_type(".EXE", IE40);
default_mail_reader = WORD97;
}

mail_system_registry_to_microsoft();

remove_current_isp();
set_current_isp("WWW.MSN.COM", CHARGE_BAND_PREMIUM_RATE);

if (sun_microsystems_java())
{
remove_sun_microsystems_java();
install_microsoft_hacked_java_instead();
}

check_mail();
}

void hex_dump(void)
{
for (y=0; y< 32; y++)
{
for (x=0; x<20; x++)
{
printf("Ox00%c%c", hex(rand(16)),
hex(rand(16)));
}
printf("\n");
}
}

void blue_screen_of_death(void)
{
set_screen_color(BLUE);
hex_dump();
}

void create_general_protection_fault(void)
{
switch (rand(4))
{
case 1:
display_general_protection_fault(WORD97);
break;
case 2:
display_general_protection_fault(EXCELL);
break;
case 3:
display_general_protection_fault(IE40);
break;
default:
blue_screen_of_death();
break;
}
}

void main()
{
read_partition_table();
if_modem();

while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}